So yesterday i was waxing poetic on returning to the world of interviews.  While I had survived the interview, I didn’t look too highly upon myself and how I worked.  They say you are your own worst critic, and in this case, I absolutley was.

I started working on my transcription last night which, by the way is one of the most awful jobs I could ever imagine having.  I now totally understand why people pay for this service, I spent about an hour and a half, and ended up with 10 minutes of audio transcribed, at around 1000 words.  I only have 27 minutes to go.  The point that I am trying to make is, upon listening to pretty much the whole interview, it really went better than I thought it had.  While I thought my interviewee was annoyed in the beginning, upon listening back, he didn’t sound quite as annoyed as I imagined.  The part where I thought I had offended him, was him speaking directly, and his position even changed mid sentence.  He began saying he would not talk about personal issues, but finished up saying he didn’t think he wanted personal issues out in the open.  In my head I had heard “How dare you ask about my childhood?” when in fact, it was much more mild a redirection.  

It’s obvious that I am pretty hard on myself.  I take a metric shit-ton of pride in my work, to the point where I used to get offended when my work was criticized.  I remember dwelling on it for days, to the point where I actually was considering giving up my writing, when one of my articles offended a small group of people. I felt terrible over it, even though offense was not in my plans.  While criticism isn’t necessarily a bad thing when done constructively, constantly second guessing yourself is.  I can’t begin to imagine the number of stories or articles I’ve started, only to abandon 5 word or 15,000 words in.  The thing is, even bad work has it’s merits, at least bad writing is still writing, and if you love it, you have to do it no matter if it is garbage or a masterpiece.  If it had 0 readers or millions.  

Listening to the interview again gave me a good idea of what I truly did wrong, which had been magnified exponentially by my ever turning, self-deprecating brain.  It also showed me what I did well, and now, with a clear head, I can really give myself some constructive criticism, before it gets sent out to the public for them to laud or destroy as they will.  In closing, don’t berate yourself too much for your work, instead take a breath, look back at it, and form constructive ways of improvement.  Leave the berating for your readers 😉